“Grandmother”

Elizabeth lamented that she did not have a grandmother. Grandma Bogod had passed away when she was eight and, in any case, it was a long distance relationship since Grandma Bogod lived in London, UK. Her maternal Grandmother had passed away before she was born.

One day Elizabeth said she had met a lady whom, if she had a grandma, would be her ideal grandma. And so it came to pass, as they say, that this lady became Elizabeth’s proxy grandmother. They had much in common – “Grandma” has a long time history of helping the less fortunate, is an advocate for social justice, has a deep compassion and understanding of mental illness.  They went to lunch, exhibitions, and other outings. Unfortunately, it was to be a short relationship because, soon after, Elizabeth became unwell. There was much concern for our “Grandma”. Here is a lady with a huge heart, great wisdom and a wicked sense of humor. Elizabeth’s passing must have been a terrible shock to her and we regret deeply that she should have had this experience and the loss of what had every likelihood of proving a wonderful relationship. We, Elizabeth’s parents, are so indebted to her for being a part of Elizabeth’s life. It brought a depth and breadth to Elizabeth of caring and compassion and the opportunity to have a grandma. Again, thank you. There is cemented an indelible link between “Grandma” and us which is so very much cherished. “Grandma”, you rock!

Letter received from “Grandma” (it was handwritten but does not photo well so, sorry, had to be typed):-

“Dears:

You three fought so brave a battle against this miserable illness and I hope so much you are at peace on the inevitable questions that inevitably crop up.  Elizabeth had a ton of “hang-in-there-ness” fortified by you two.  If there is one song that she might sing now, I wonder is it “Free at Last”  and is it unfeeling of me to think she might want us to share a little in that?

Sometimes, it seems to me that fathers don’t quite get their fair share of support in these times of shock and intolerable pain.  Dear Philip, it is an extra – tiny by comparison – sadness that, after all your kindness and time-gifts, I am empty-handed for any real solace and can only stand by.  But this I do.

Shall remember Elizabeth with affection and great respect for being such a Come Back Kid for so long.  However much life and death try to tell us to the contrary, I do not believe anyone is truly lost.  Ever. Such initiative – look at the Society – wow!  The pebbles we throw cast  their ripples, don’t they?

Very best love to you both

“Grandma”

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